This is fantastic. I committed to relationship anarchy for a year after my last big relationship. I now find myself in a bunch of wonderful relationship relationships. I feel the full of old scripts and patterns. You put so much good food for thought in here thank you. Your final thoughts left me with a big question mark. He said something about a kind of commitment and I'm wondering how the word commitment even fits into relational anarchy. It seems like commitment to truth, but I'm not clear how it fits into commitment to another. Sidenote, the first time you wrote "future topics" I wondered if it was an accidental leaving of a note to yourself, but by the end it had me hooked and wanting to subscribe to get all that content. Thanks for putting all this down, really appreciate the work you put in here.
Hello David! I'm a bit delayed here as I was at a festival last weekend. :)
Your question about commitment in RA is a REALLY good one. So good, in fact, that it inspired me to start drafting a post about it. When I first started thinking about it, I realized that I had a general sense that I understood what it meant to me, but was struggling to put it into actual words. Drafting this post is helping me do just that, and I'll be posting it in a couple weeks.
One of the reasons I started writing is to act as a forcing function to think more deeply about how I want to relate to others. So yeah, I want to thank you for this question, as it really has helped me think more deeply about what commitment means to me in RA! Also, let me know if you'd like to see an early draft / give feedback. No pressure! I just figure you might be keen, since it's a subject on your mind as well.
As for the "future topics" notes - they are indeed deliberate. When I was drafting this first post, I kept wanting to expand every section to fully cover each topic, but since each topic could easily be its own blog post (or several), this would have made the post far too long. They were an attempt to 1. release my brain from trying to do that and 2. acknowledge to readers that I know there's more to cover here, and that I intend to.
There has been a lot written about RA, but your essays get to the core without losing any nuance. I really appreciate both the clarity and the sensitivity of your writing.
fuck this sounds incredible. i think this kind of thing is what i've been seeking; i've just been looking in the wrong places (friends who don't think like that). i want someone who chooses me for me, and i want to be able to know someone intimately in the same way. it's hard to verbalize that before someone shows you the option
Thanks so much for this, it’s coming at a time of total collapse of societal scripts in my most important relationships. I’m curious, what are your thoughts on wanting to keep a romantic lover/partner in your life because of a true, wonderful love connection when they also struggle with work and finances, making building a traditional “long term partner “ future seem impossible, but also having compassion for their situation? It seems there are more options than just off/on compatible/not compatible—I suppose we’ll just have to navigate it and we are, but not without a lot of pain and disappointment. I don’t see a lot of people writing about how money and career plays into all of this, especially in a broader age of job loss and identity crisis. If you have any wisdom, it’s much appreciated. Thank you.
I'd be happy to see the early draft. Planning to re-read this one and loooking forward to gremlin thoughts
This is fantastic. I committed to relationship anarchy for a year after my last big relationship. I now find myself in a bunch of wonderful relationship relationships. I feel the full of old scripts and patterns. You put so much good food for thought in here thank you. Your final thoughts left me with a big question mark. He said something about a kind of commitment and I'm wondering how the word commitment even fits into relational anarchy. It seems like commitment to truth, but I'm not clear how it fits into commitment to another. Sidenote, the first time you wrote "future topics" I wondered if it was an accidental leaving of a note to yourself, but by the end it had me hooked and wanting to subscribe to get all that content. Thanks for putting all this down, really appreciate the work you put in here.
Just posted the post on commitment! I'll be curious to hear how it lands. :)
https://www.labelsarehard.com/p/commitment-in-relationship-anarchy
Hello David! I'm a bit delayed here as I was at a festival last weekend. :)
Your question about commitment in RA is a REALLY good one. So good, in fact, that it inspired me to start drafting a post about it. When I first started thinking about it, I realized that I had a general sense that I understood what it meant to me, but was struggling to put it into actual words. Drafting this post is helping me do just that, and I'll be posting it in a couple weeks.
One of the reasons I started writing is to act as a forcing function to think more deeply about how I want to relate to others. So yeah, I want to thank you for this question, as it really has helped me think more deeply about what commitment means to me in RA! Also, let me know if you'd like to see an early draft / give feedback. No pressure! I just figure you might be keen, since it's a subject on your mind as well.
As for the "future topics" notes - they are indeed deliberate. When I was drafting this first post, I kept wanting to expand every section to fully cover each topic, but since each topic could easily be its own blog post (or several), this would have made the post far too long. They were an attempt to 1. release my brain from trying to do that and 2. acknowledge to readers that I know there's more to cover here, and that I intend to.
Thanks again, David! 🤗💜
There has been a lot written about RA, but your essays get to the core without losing any nuance. I really appreciate both the clarity and the sensitivity of your writing.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I am so glad it resonated. 🥰
Mollie, so much amazing content in this blog. Thank you for putting it down in written form!
Thank you, Veronica! I'm glad you enjoyed it. ☺️
fuck this sounds incredible. i think this kind of thing is what i've been seeking; i've just been looking in the wrong places (friends who don't think like that). i want someone who chooses me for me, and i want to be able to know someone intimately in the same way. it's hard to verbalize that before someone shows you the option
Hi Mollie,
Thanks so much for this, it’s coming at a time of total collapse of societal scripts in my most important relationships. I’m curious, what are your thoughts on wanting to keep a romantic lover/partner in your life because of a true, wonderful love connection when they also struggle with work and finances, making building a traditional “long term partner “ future seem impossible, but also having compassion for their situation? It seems there are more options than just off/on compatible/not compatible—I suppose we’ll just have to navigate it and we are, but not without a lot of pain and disappointment. I don’t see a lot of people writing about how money and career plays into all of this, especially in a broader age of job loss and identity crisis. If you have any wisdom, it’s much appreciated. Thank you.